Which City in America Has the Lowest Online Dating Standards?
Confidence, they say, is the key to online dating. Potential partners can tell when someone is comfortable with themselves, and that strength and confidence shines through.
Many people in the online dating world, however, are desperate. But how desperate? We decided to conduct an extreme (and slightly exaggerated) social experiment to find out which city in America had the most desperate population, using the same scientific methods employed by Kinsey, Johnson & Johnson, and Maxim.
First, we selected the five most populated cities in America: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston and Philadelphia. Next, we created a few ridiculous profiles, to see which city responded most.
In our profiles, we made up people with some…flaws. The kind that might send up a red flag that these folks may not be “good long-term prospects.” Unless you’re that desperate.
For the Men: Cherri
Cherri, our first fake profile, was a 36-year-old woman, slightly crazy looking (love that giant drink), but definitely pretty. Here’s what we filled out for her bio.
Smokes: Occasionally
Drinks: Often
Pets: A cute rat
Kids: Yes, but with their dads
Tell Us About Yourself: No more kids and it’s time for Mommy to find some love! (They’re with their fathers – let them see what it’s like – LOL!!!!) I’m an old-fashioned fun lovin’ girl who wants to be treated right. That means a man who doesn’t drink before noon and keeps his angry hands to himself and his lovin’ hands all over me. No meth heads or junkies, but bong hits – yes please! LOL!!!!!!!!!!. I like motorcycles (Harleys – not rice-burners), rock n’ roll and country (no whiny boys LOL!), Janis Joplin and Tammy Wynette, eatin’ meat (BBQ and all other kinds, too!). I go to the gym 5 times a week so you can bounce quarters off my belly (if you get lucky LOL!!!!) You must have a car (or even better, a truck LOL!!!). No players, con men, or scumbags looking for a one night stand. MUST CALL AFTERWARD!!!!! (BTW, I am tested regularly and hope you are, too LOL!!!!!!). Email me; send photo, NO FREAKS – LOL!!!!!!!!
First Date: My dream first date would be you pick me up on your bike or truck (I can’t drive – don’t ask). We could go someplace to watch a UFC match or wrestling (just kidding, Boring LOL!!!!!!) have a few drinks and go for a ride to a deserted beach after maybe. Build a fire, snuggle up and see if we have chemistry!
We figured folks would have to be pretty desperate to respond to that wall of exclamation points. Let’s see how our princess made out:
Cherri’s Suitors:
RODNREELJOE (Likes Fishing)
In his own words: “Hi I am A laid back mellow type of guy I look like a mean mofo /bad boy but am a nice guy wink wink i havent been in trouble in a long time”
(Will your parole officer be coming on our dates?)
BROADCASTDUDE
“I’m smiling on the inside”
In his own words: “I think our first date should be in a place where we can converse without too much distraction.”
(do you really want to be alone with a guy you´re meeting for the first time?)
TeddyBear42
In his own words: “What would I do on a first date? Probably try to figure out if there is going to be a second half to the first date, and after that consider if there would be a second date.”
(Have you thought about not bringing your Mom on dates?)
Suave (SWAH_VAY)
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Hi Your very ~Beautiful~ and them eyes, smile, hair, Lips, WoW! and….. i gotta say THIS! You’re like a ~Sweet~ ~angel~ that just came from the heaven above ~Sexy~ woman, ~Special~ Lady that ANY! Man would ~love~ to be with! Even me ~~Suave~~showing some love ….
**********(¨`••´¨)*******
***********`•.¸.•´***********
~MUAH~ on them soft ~Lips~
Most guys, disturbingly enough, sent over something kind of like this.
Final Results: Chicago Has the Most Desperate Men!
Philadelphia: 7 responses
Houston: 8 responses
New York: 8 responses
Los Angeles: 9 responses
Chicago: 12 responses
You might be saying to yourself: “Men are dogs. They don’t read profiles.” While that may be true, these – ahem – gentlemen sent their love missives after being asked to write about a first date.
For The Ladies: Harley51
Harley51 was a 54 year-old biker type, complete with forehead scar. The picture, quite frankly, scared us. Here’s the desperation-attracting profile we filled out:
Smokes: Yes
Drinks: Often
Pets: An old dog he had most of his life
Kids: Yes, but doesn’t want anymore
Tell Us About Yourself: There is nothing I like more than having a few beers with my woman of choice, usually while fishing, shooting, watching TV or combining them together if you know what I mean. My goal is to stay out of trouble for as long as I can, make some good dough, and live it up.
I want a girl who knows how to treat a man good, and doesn’t talk back and keeps quiet when she should. In return I’ll try to be good but can’t make promises.
I once won an arm wrestling contest against an Indian and broke his arm in three places so he stabbed me and I still bought him a beer, because I’m all about forgiveness.
My favorite music is loud music that is good with drinking like Guns and Roses, Lynyrd Skinnard [sic] and Allman Brothers.
First Date: I would like to meet someplace quiet and have a few shooters, go for a ride on my Harley, then go someplace louder and then go home if you know what I mean. But I’m willing to skip some things if it will make you happy. I know how to treat women nice.
While we’d like to know where Harley’s charm school money went, he had no shortage of interest from single women:
Harley’s Angels:
Cathy48
In her own words: “My expectations of you? Smart, smart and smart! Clean, no dirty t-shirts please! No games please! My heart has been broken and I don’t want to go down that road again. And no cheaters!!”
(Harley? Never!)
Renaissance Woman
In her own words: “trust, caring, being kind, and compassionate are traits I most admire”
(Don’t women read profiles?)
Chickenwing (tired of being tired of it)
In her own words: “I ride horses, train dogs, movies, cooking , cleaning, I love to mop floors and do laundry, detailing cars, riding 4 wheelers, hunting, fishing, cleaning fish, skinning deer, milking cows, brewing beer, shining shoes, wearing lingerie around the house while vacuuming”
(Can you say “Mrs. Harley?)
Final Results: Houston Has the Most Desperate Women!
Philadelphia: 4 responses
Chicago: 4 responses
New York: 5 responses
Los Angeles: 5 responses
Houston: 8 responses
As serious scientists (we’re wearing lab coats), we have concluded that while the men of Chicago and the women of Houston may have practically no standards in choosing mating partners, the rest of America isn’t exactly picky, either.
So get out there and give it a shot! Remember: if these people can get dates, so can you!
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