We interviewed several real women about their worst dating pet peeves, and you’d be surprised to learn some of the obvious things men do wrong on dates.
If you want to get a special insider’s view into the female mind and improve your odds during your next date with a special lady, you better listen up. Here are the top seven date deal-breakers for women.
1. Talk WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Less About Yourself
The purpose of a first date is to get to know each other, which means both people should share something about themselves. However, it is important to have a conversation with the other person rather than a giving a monologue.
Pauline L. says, “I hate it when I’m on a first date with a dude and all he talks about is himself and how much money he makes! One of my biggest pet peeves!”
While most women want to know if a potential suitor is financially stable, it is tacky and unnecessary to bust out last year’s tax return on a first date. Simply pick up the check and tip well, and the woman will get the message.
2. Lies Are Only Funny in Romantic Comedies
While lying to a love interest might work in movies, it always backfires in real life. Most women are not willing to put up with that kind of crap.
Taneisha J. says: “Be straight up. Don’t say you’re gonna call if you’re not. Don’t say you made plans when you didn’t.”
Hollywood is a multibillion-dollar industry built on lies. Unfortunately, relationships built on lies have a much lower success rate. Upfront honesty and communication is a much safer road to happiness.
3. Have a Plan
Dinner. Movie. GO!
Relationships are all about open communication and compromise. However, on a first date the guy should definitely take the lead.
“If you’re taking a woman on a date, have a plan,” says Leslie R. “Don’t pick her up and ask what she wants to do. Show some initiative.”
Nothing is worse than two overly polite people refusing to make a decision on where the night should go. Even if your plan involves narrowing the choices down to two and letting the woman pick, it is still far better than completely winging it. Not having a plan can be a deal breaker on a first date.
4. Don’t Be Coy
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Don’t let your nerves turn you into a date buster.
Although coming on too strong can definitely be off-putting, not making any moves at all can be worse.
Meghan H. says: “If you’re interested, show it. If you just want to be friends, just be friends. It is not ok to call a girl “dude” and try to be her buddy part of the time while flirting and making weak moves at other times.”
Women are not dumb; they know when you have a thing for them. Don’t try to cover that thing up by hiding in the friend zone. As the saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained,” which means you can’t hide behind a thin veil of friendship and still hope to be making out by the end of the night.
5. Don’t Get Hammered
She never even got to try the BBQ.
Many men choose to take girls to bars for a first date. While that in and of itself may not be terrible, getting wasted is completely unacceptable.
Jenny S. says: “If you decide to take me to a bar on a date, don’t proceed to get wasted.”
Leslie B. adds: “Not getting wasted applies to ALL boyfriends… (and husbands). It’s a drag to babysit a grown man.”
Although a glass of wine or a social drink may be the key to a good time, it is important that a first date sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. If the first date ends with puking in the back of a cab, there is a good chance that there will be no second date. Ever.
6. Suave? Think Again.
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You are not him.
Some guys insist on playing it cooler than they really are. What they fail to realize is that by doing so, they look like huge tools.
“Winkers will never move on to a second date,” says Jill G.
Although the fear of looking nerdy or unsexy can make the male brain do some incredibly stupid things, it’s always a better idea to just let the chips fall as they may. Cool people never try to be cool. Neither should you. Corny as it sounds, just relax and be yourself.
7. Nothing is Worse than a Lack of Ambition
With a little hard work, dedication and moxie, he’ll soon be able to finish that pie chart.
This is perhaps the most important, and yet most complicated piece of advice for any man to grasp. Most men think that if they are not successful in life, they will not be successful in love. But in reality it all depends on how you act.
Christine G. points out that nothing is worse than “guys who have nothing going for them, yet they act like gods and great catches.”
On the flip side, Paige L. says: “Nothing is sexier than ambition. Just because he’s not there yet, doesn’t mean he won’t get there.”
The moral of this story is that men who are unemployed are not losers, especially if they have clear goals and plans on how they will one day be successful. Few men are lucky enough to land their dream jobs in their 20’s. There is no shame in not having it as long as you believe you are going to get it.
The best thing a man can do on a first date is be himself. By trying to act suave, overplaying his earnings or social status or partying like a rock star, he has a much greater chance of blowing the first date than he does of landing a second one.
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