Strangest Scientific Sex Studies

29. March 2011

Since they are usually too busy (nerdy) to have it, many scientists spend most of their time studying sex. While many of these studies seem like weak excuses to have more sex, the science behind them is sound. The following are some of the more interesting studies (and findings) to have been graced by the scientific method (all tips might not work 100% for everyone though J …)

1. Doin’ It at Work

In this tough economy, most people are lucky to have a job. According to a recent survey, however, many of those people are also getting lucky at their jobs.

Interestingly enough, factory workers lead the list of workplace romantics, with 19% of the vote. Considering OSHA regulations are hard enough to follow with clothes on, we’d have to imagine that there are some serious violations going on among those who are getting it on.

2. Finger Length Associated With Promiscuity

Thanks to the promiscuous cavemen, scientists have now given high school boys a reason to pay extra attention to the length of high school girls’ ring fingers. According to a study out of Liverpool University, sexual promiscuity in primates and Neanderthals can be directly linked to the length of their digits.

Increased levels of testosterone cause the first and fourth fingers to grow while in the womb. They also cause a more aggressive sexual appetite, leading those with long fingers to be sexually promiscuous (and, as it would seem, slightly advantaged).

3. Starring at Breasts Prolongs Life

According to a German study published in New England Journal of Medicine, staring at breasts for ten minutes per day provides the same health benefits as a 30-minute aerobic workout, despite one being much more fun than the other. Doing both at the same time, however, could result in a massive coronary.

Because staring at breasts increases blood flow while lowering stress, it provides men and lesbians with all sorts of positive health benefits. It does not, however, seem to be nearly as beneficial for productivity or focus.

4. iPhone Users Have the Most Sexual Partners

As if the retina display and increased battery life weren’t reason enough to upgrade, new research from OkCupid noted that iPhone users have more sexual partners than Blackberry users, and both have more sex than Android users.

While the reasons are still vague and mysterious, some speculation can be made as to why these results exist. For example, iPhone users are typically young and virile, meaning they are more likely to be having sex.

Blackberry users are typically business people, who are more likely to be cheating on their spouses with their secretaries, while Android users can’t afford a Blackberry or iPhone, and, therefore, are lame. Of course, these studies are still in the early stages, and these opinions are wholly speculative.

5. The Health Benefits of Semen

An idea CLEARLY conceived by a man, but irrefutably backed up by science; a study performed at the University of New York in Albany concluded that ingesting semen provides significant health benefits.

Besides acting as an anti-depressant, the study also found links to lowered cancer risks associated with semen swallowing. A mere three times per week (you’re welcome, men) seemed to be all it took to document some significant health benefits in women.


Whatever science says, most sex studies are just an excuse to fornicate. While there are thousands of studies highlighting the benefits of sex, there seem to be no sex studies linking intercourse to hip replacement surgeries, or oral sex to cases of TMJ. While these things seem just as plausible as semen being good for healthy skin, they are far less fun to study.


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