8 Mistakes Men make while Dating Online

11. April 2011

Dating online is a situation that must be handled with extreme care. After all, this is the modern world, and a lot of people are afraid of being stalked, having somebody try to convert them to a new religion, and having their identity stolen. One must proceed with caution.

It doesn’t matter how attractive a person might be, or how eager you are to get out of the house and have a romp: using these clichés never works. The following list of things men do stamps, “I will probably die alone,” on their foreheads. Avoid these men, women; and men—avoid these cliché moves!

8. Never Changing a Profile Image

Are you 37 years old, with a pic on your personal profile of when you were 22? Now, nobody is suggesting that you have degenerated into a fat, bald, toothless slob over the past few years. But, even when you’re just out of college, people change.

If you haven’t changed at all in the past decade, you might have even deeper problems than just meeting women you want. In the same vein as changing your profile pics, changing what you say and how you say it is a classic lessen every web designer knows, and many men forget.

If you are now a mid-career professional, you’ll sound stupid if your profile still has the words written by the hung-over frat boy you used to be. So feel free to step into the 21st century – it’s over a decade old!

7. Posting Pics With Shirts Off

You are not Bruce Lee. Chances are, you’re not as ripped as he was, nor are you as buff as Ronnie Coleman. If you really have the physique to show off, and you’ve put in your time at the gym, it might be acceptable to post one pic of yourself topless, in a natural setting (like a beach).

However, posing shirtless in your bathroom, with a flash over your face, is tacky. Also, if most of your exercises involve ten ounce curls and walking to the fridge, then put a shirt on, Mr. Wannabe Nudist.

In case you haven’t figured it out, most women are interested in men who have culture, some dignity, and enough money to buy a stinkin’ shirt. They probably don’t want to see you naked before they’ve even spoken to you. Not having on a shirt may say “king of the jungle” to some women, but to the vast majority, it says “loser.” Not classy, buddy. She can’t rip off your shirt if you aren’t wearing one.

6. Misrepresenting Height/Weight/Wealth/Etc.

This one is so basic it shouldn’t even need to be mentioned. But nonetheless, just like the genital thing we talked about above, some guys just need to make every possible mistake in order to figure out how to mate in this modern world.

If you are not six feet tall, don’t say you’re six feet tall. There are plenty of women who won’t care if you’re 5’6″, because they will actually like a guy who doesn’t make them strain their necks to kiss him. Or maybe they’re 5’1″, and you still seem tall!

If you don’t make six figures, take her for a long walk somewhere, and get in a real conversation. Spending a ton of money on a woman puts absurd pressures on both of you that pretty much kill any possibility of anything real coming out of the date. And speaking of that, if you just want to have fun, you might as well put that into your profile, and attract the type of woman who has her own wild oats to sow – the religious girls probably won’t be that into you.

5. Sending Women Pictures of Genitalia

There is a documented phenomenon known as the Craigslist Genital Effect. To explain it briefly; when a woman posts a profile saying that she would like to meet a man to date (as in, in a relationship where things proceed at a normal pace – not that other kind of dating they advertise on those kinds of sites), she will undoubtedly get a lot of responses.

Unfortunately, a ridiculously high number of those responses will involve men who are showing off their genitals, as per the name of the effect in question. Who are these men trying to impress?

You can get yourself serious style points by simply not performing this asinine custom that many men think works. Unfortunately, by the time you respond with your witty, interesting and fun response, the woman may have already run off, taken a vow of celibacy, and joined a convent somewhere.

4. Trying to Sound Cooler Than They Are

This is a little bit like misrepresenting your physical or financial attributes. There is no reason for it, and a person who isn’t really cool and tries to fake it usually sounds dumb.

You are better off just playing the “I’m a nerd/dork/geek” card, and letting the woman find out at her own pace and at her own desire that maybe there is some coolness buried in you.

You can even go ahead and put your “worst” foot forward, proudly mention how you’re a 19th level Fighter Mage, and haven’t run since gym class, and attract women who are cool with that. A little self-effacing humor can actually be a great ice breaker.

3. Seeming Needy

Are you messaging ten women at seven p.m. on a Friday or Saturday? News flash, pal—they aren’t home, and when they get home, they either won’t be by themselves.

If you want to show that you have a life, and you’re a confident man, then build yourself a life, keep busy with things you enjoy, and have some principles you won’t back down from. If only it were as easy as a “tip;” but it isn’t. The best way not to seem needy is to not act needy.

2. Being Negative

If any part of your message or profile complains about anything (except to make a joke), or seems like something a bitter, angry, or sad person would say, take it out of there now! Women do not want to date a sad-sack, because they have plenty of problems of their own.

They also don’t want some kind of angry, roid-raging maniac who is going to end up beating them later (and yes, women are understandably wary of getting involved in situations like that). If you feel like being negative, think about why.

When it comes right down to it, you’re probably just ticked off at yourself. If you want to come off as anything but a wimpy little whiner, you had better drop the “poor me” act, and take charge. If women aren’t flocking to you, maybe it’s because you’re just too negative for them.

1. Talking Like He’s Addressing Fellow Guys

If you’re out to meet men, then this one is no big deal. But if you’re out to meet women, you have to remember that the fairer sex does not talk like men do. They also do not think like men do, either, so you have to adjust your tone accordingly.

If you come off like you just want to get laid, chances are most of the women you’ll meet are just thinking that sex will help them fill the gaps in their soul, or something. You won’t meet a healthy woman if you don’t consider how to talk to one properly.
Summing it up
When you go online to meet women, there are tens of thousands of things you can do wrong. The good news is, there are hundreds of millions of women who you can do right by.

If you know how to play the game, can put together a sentence that sounds like you finished fifth grade, and come off as positive and interesting, you will be able to turn profiles you find online into dates. Who knows; you might even turn one of those lucky ladies into your girlfriend someday: just don’t talk about it for the first ten dates.

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