6 Tell-Tale Signs Your Date is a Liar

19. April 2011

First off, everybody is a liar. We all lie sometimes, even if it is for the best of intentions, and will not hurt anybody. However, when you date someone, you don’t want them to be stepping-out behind your back, telling you things that aren’t true, and generally acting like a politician. You want the people you date to deal honestly with you.
Naturally, there are some things you don’t need to know about (such as how many lovers she’s had, or how great they were). However, when it comes to the big things, nobody wants to constantly wonder whether the person they are dating is lying to them or not. More than the occasional lie is a serious problem. Here are some red flags that your date is lying to you about something important.

1. Their Profile Says It First

There are some things a person should never put in their profile, because it screams, “I’m lying to you.” Among the first signs is how they describe themselves. Usually, if she comes up with something like, “I’m trim and petite,” it’s almost an affirmation against what’s really going on in her life.
If she was really trim, petite, or whatever, it’d be pretty obvious by looking at her pic. Tell tale signs she fits in this category include nothing but headshots, pics from the 70s, and other indicators of low self-esteem.
And guys are just as bad when it comes to lying about how they look. If a guy says he’s tall, dark and handsome… well, first off, he’s obviously just come back from a trip to the Cliché Factory, because that description’s about as old as English itself.
Usually, a guy who says he’s tall, dark, and handsome is about 5’3″, as pasty as a Twilight vampire (Sun glitter sold separately), and perfectly average in the looks department. Again, it’s an affirmation.
At first, you wonder if they’ve forgotten that you have eyes. Then, you realize it’s not about you. It’s about them not wanting to admit that what stares back at them in the mirror every day is the new normal.
If they can’t even admit what they really are, how truthful do you think they’re going to be with you? So before you even contact this person, accept that there’s a pretty good chance they’re a liar. Are you still interested?

2. What Their Profile Doesn’t Say

Sometimes in life, you just have to read between the lines. In this case, between the lines of text on someone’s personal profile, you can see a picture that says a lot about the person. If they’re really sociable (or don’t have much of an individual identity), there are no pictures of them by themselves. If they love nature, their pics will mostly be outside. If their bike is their best friend, it will be featured prominently.
One thing you can tell right off the bat about their honesty happens when you look for a picture – and there’s no picture there. Now, there are tons of reasons for this, such as if their profile is about two days old and they’re still fleshing it out. Or maybe they don’t have a very good pic, and they don’t want to represent themselves badly. It’s perfectly understandable.
But what if it isn’t one of those things? The person could be hiding from a partner, as in a wife of girlfriend. Be aware of profiles without pictures: the person could be hiding, but they could also be embarrassed. If they’re too embarrassed to post a pic, for fear of being seen by an acquaintance, imagine how they’d introduce you at parties, and explain how you met. In a situation like that, tread cautiously.

3. Their Eyes Also Tell a Tale

Some people say that all the power in the world is in the eyes. While that may or may not be true, a lot of liars will do a lot of things with their eyes, which give them away once you know what to look for. If you’ve got a pretty good feel for your date, and how they typically use their eyes, you can also get a feel for whether they’re telling you a story.
For one thing, a lot of people who are not big on lying will make very little eye contact with you when they’re trying to feed you a line of BS. They don’t want to get caught, and it can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy where their evasive tendency ends up being their primary tell.

4. Their Body Language Says It Next

The first way we communicate is through our body language. Before we form words, or even draw in the breath which is going to become the words, our bodies are already in motion saying what we really mean. A lot of times, liars are going to be a bit stiff (especially in their head or neck) as a subconscious defense mechanism against accidentally blowing the truth.
In other cases, liars are going to keep their arms and legs close, or touch their faces. A face touch (especially higher up on the face) can actually be used to indicate the degree of the lie. Any time people keep themselves closed up, they are working to protect themselves against something. If it’s 72 degrees and they’re wearing a sweater, they’re not scrunched up because they’re cold.
Of course, there are lots of lying pros out there who practically live on saying things which aren’t true. For them, all of the body language tells which characterize less adept liars will never show up – they’ll be caught before they’re even done.

5. Speaking Puts It Bluntly

When a person starts to speak, there is a lot more going on than just a bunch of words coming out of their mouths. For yogis, the breath is an expression of their fifth chakra, which is all about willpower. For martial artists, breath is how energy is transferred into and out of the body. But when it comes to liars, their cadence, pitch, and tone can all set up what they’re saying as the load of pig manure it is.
For one thing, the way a person speaks when they lie tends to be very guarded. After all, the truth could just come spilling out if they aren’t careful (or at least that’s how they think if they have any conscience).
So, if your date does a lot of random starting and stopping during his sentences, one of two things is going on – either he’s doing a rousing impression of William Shatner, or he’s not telling you something that’s just itching to get out.
Remember when we mentioned willpower and energy coming from the throat? The tone a person uses can sometimes become incongruent with how they usually talk (or even what’s socially appropriate) when she’s lying. It can start off too subtle to notice (especially if you haven’t known the person very long), but it can get downright obvious when alcohol is involved. In vino veritas, as they say.

6. The Words Polish Off the Tale

If there were any doubt after all those clues that they’re not giving you the straight dope, this one nails it down: a person’s story tends to lengthen considerably when they’re not telling the truth, as details spill out to cover up the truth.
And if their story conflicts, you’ve pretty much got them dead to rights.

People lie all the time, and sometimes there’s nothing wrong with it. But when you’re dating the person, the rules change considerably. They could end up faking an orgasm! It’s rude, but it happens. Then there’s the little matter of them cheating on you, stealing from you, and stuff like that. Just keep these signs in mind, and stop them in their tracks.

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