Dating in the Olden Times: How Modern Men Date

5. October 2011

Throughout history, men and women have faced the traditional need to find love and fill their homes with the children and wealth that can best be produced by a great marriage. At the very least the marriage should look great in public.

Needless to say, deciding who you should marry is a major choice and should never be entered into lightly or while drinking alcohol. So the process of courtship has always been a big deal, even though it has changed dramatically over the years. This article is going to be primarily concerned with how dating and courtship take place today.


Modern attire is mixed. Your imagination can define your wardrobe these days, and some people take this to its outermost limits. While the general rule for women is “less is more,” a man progresses out of nakedness to define his social status. However, the fact that more and more men and women are meeting one another online means that fashion can actually take a back seat to comfortable, neat clothing.

Pickup artists tend to wear flashier, shinier clothes in an attempt to appeal to women’s eyes, but even this is not really necessary. The clothes only make the man to a certain point. Personality is becoming more and more important, even when making a first impression.

Getting Ready

The process of getting ready in the modern age is a lot more complicated than it used to be. In this day and age, just looking and smelling good aren’t enough. The tiny touches like where you put your cologne—walk into two spritzes and then distribute it on your wrists—are important. As well, keeping strategic parts of your anatomy shaven can indicate to a woman that you’re a refined and modern man, and invites her to touch you and feel how your muscles respond to her.

The process of getting ready for men has led to a term known as metro-sexual, referring to a man who dates women but takes exceptionally good care of himself. Metro-sexuals tend to their own grooming as carefully as women traditionally have, and are sometimes called pretty boys. Nonetheless, even the most traditional men take care of their hair, nails and skin like never before.

Settings for Dates

In a world full of interesting architecture, the number of possible places to take a date is almost unlimited. Just going for a walk and talking can lead to all sorts of interesting conversations. As well, going to markets and shops where there are unusual objects to talk about is another great way to impress your date with your wit and charm. If you’re a guy and you date, this world is your mating ground.

However, a whole new type of dating has emerged in recent years—the online date. When you want to interact with a woman but can’t be near her or feel socially awkward, you can meet online and talk for hours that way. With the even more recent addition of texting, you can communicate with the object of your affections all the time, even while you’re doing other things.

Key Players

In the modern world, the man and woman are the major players. However, their friends also interact a lot during the courtship phase of a relationship. The friends are a necessary filter, and they help a love struck person to see beyond their feelings and figure out if the person they’re so into is really worth all the effort. In some cases friends are the difference between getting into a terrible relationship and just going out to have fun.

Other major players are the online friends people make through social networking platforms nowadays. For all you know, the friend of one of your friends may know someone really cute who shares a lot of things with you. In the old days you never would’ve even met, but today you can be texting in minutes. Also pivotal are online dating sites, which make the connections for those who move frequently, want to meet someone new, or like to keep their private lives separate from friends and work.

The Steps of the Process

The first step can happen in real life or online. Often approaches are very direct online, or through one social network online. From there, courtship can take only a few hours in the case of a hookup or several months if the woman you’re after is more traditionally minded. Personal choice dictates every step of today’s relationships.

Marriage tends to be a very large, overblown occasion that drives young couples into debt and only lasts a few years. Such significant numbers of couples divorce within a few years that the cost of a marriage can exceed the cost of attending a public university.

Many young people who begin dating early will marry and divorce three or four times throughout their lives.

Putting it to Bed

Human beings will always look for love, and the main differences between today and the past involve technology. Condoms are no longer made of wood or roughly sewn sheep intestines, and computers have made the face to face meeting totally optional. However, the one constant of courtship is that when two people really connect, it’s something magical. And anything goes as long as they’re at least 18 and not too drunk to consent.



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